I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw him. I opened my door and he was standing there. Right in front of me with a distinct sense of déjà vu. It felt like an answered prayer from god to see him again, in front of me, in one piece, looking normal. But somehow, it wasn't the same him that i used to know. He had black hair, and he wore some titanium frame glasses. He wasn't even myopic from what i know. And the black decent-looking hairstyle was definitely not his liking. i wondered why. It wasn't him, he wasn't the Justin that everybody knows. It felt strange.

But without saying a word, i opened my door and pulled him in, straight to my room. I don't usually open doors to strangers but i knew this was a different situation. Perhaps a new chapter in my life. Frantically i dug out everything that belonged to us - photos, memoirs, his clothes. Whatever i had and whatever i could find. I showed them to him.

Me : Do u remember me, do u recall our past? Us together ?
i repeated myself. I was pressing for an answer. An affirmative one.


But he looked at me blankly, i don't recognise the expression in his eyes. They weren't the same pair of brown eyes that i would look into and find answers to any questions. It felt strange, I couldn't understand why. He seemed familiar yet so distant. I sensed confusion in him, yet he replied me with a more confusing answer.

He: I think you've got the wrong guy. I'm here to deliver something.
He went on to explain about his delivery, which i didn't really give a damn about it. All i had on my mind was, who is this guy right in front of me that looks exactly like Justin. It must be him, why not him? I needed an answer, like how i had been looking for answers all my life.

People came forward to ask about him, is he really back? I don't know if they were concerned or being busybodies, i couldn't care either. A long, tiring commotion about his identity and myself trying to question him repeatedly.

Why... Do people with identical faces exist? Some said yes, in different parts of the world. But I wished not, i only wanted him. One and only.

In the end i broke down. I cried, with tears endlessly flowing down my cheeks i screamed to everyone around me... "He's not Justin.."

************

His name echoed through my mind when i woke up in sweat. Everything felt fucking real and i could still feel the warmth of the tears. I looked around in search of something, someone, but i had no idea what i was looking for. I was all alone in the hotel room. It was so real, yet unreal. I couldn't tell for a moment, if it had been a dream. For minutes later, i somehow got out of this whole trance. I didn't think it was a bad dream, but it wasn't a good one either. Somehow part of me wished it had been real. Everything was like yesterday, it was as though time had stopped since he left, maybe i hadn't grown up a single bit. Maybe.

Not sure if there's any meaning to this dream. Perhaps, subconsciously, i had not accepted the fact that he had left us....

************

While waiting for the rest of the babes to touch down, i went to play at Capcom again. I thought since the previous try i won quite a bit of Kitkats, this time round i might have some luck too.

Unfortunately, i didn't manage to win the big prize. It was some Carebear toys, bags, towels, keychain. Many cute stuffs. Actually, I almost got it, I'm serious, but i ran out of JPY. Damnnit. Then i realised, i had spent abt SGD$50 on this game. POOR~

So much poorer for keeping myself entertained.

Hana Kimi - Izumi Sano

Ya will know him if ya had been into J-dramas, or the Japanese entertainment circle. If not, too bad. He's a young and talented actor. It was amazing that his popularity made the Japanese crew went gaga ( Both old and young ones) despite his young age, he's only 25yrs old ^_^

*********

I already knew he was in my compartment before we went onboard. After all pax boarded, i was kinda relieved that he wasn't in my area of duty... ya know, serving this kind of big shot could be kinda tough, i don't wanna tio complain.

Who knows...

After take-off,

My I/C : ごめん、ｼｴﾘちゃん、L－side お願いします。小栗さんは39Cですから。。。
Me: はい、解りました。 (@#%#*!)

KNN, i sibeh bueysong, it was not because i don't wish to serve Oguri-san, it was bcos my area of duty was only 10pax and I/C san's side was 15pax. SIAN 1/2. This means more workload for me, I'm so lazy seriously... I asked her, why the change, she told me she's too old to serve Oguri-san. SIMI LJ reason!!! I mean, ya la, u r old, but that's your problem uh. But i have no other choice, work is work. To me, i simply took it as a new experience to serve someone special.

Indeed, it was uber tiring. No doubt, i like to work in business class, but serving a big shot like him wasn't a simple job. I felt super stress. More stressful than serving those JGC/JGP or DH Cockpit crew. Perhaps i gave myself the stress, i don't know why. I could feel my hands trembling when i served him wine. And every time we made eye contact during our conversation, my heart skipped a beat.

Actually, Oguri-san was one of the nicest pax, he was polite in his requests and wasn't too much of a big problem. In fact, he was gentle and rather humble. Thankfully, throughout the 14hours flight, he was asleep. (Haha, he looks cute when he was sleeping!)

Overall, it was an enjoyable flight =)

*********

Checking out the Tickle Me Emo video that Joshie's friend told me about. Fucking hilarious can. But i don't want a tickle me emo, it's gonna give me nightmares.




HEE I want a Tickle Me Cookie~!
Blue and Furry and Cute !

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Once upon a time,
there was a girl who counted her beautiful dreams
She had a beautiful memory of her fairytale, yet a sad love story to tell,
one that has a beginning hard to forget, and an ending hard to remember.

a twist of fate, and God's will ,
A loss so tragic, where truth lies
Lost in confusion, words unsaid, and a truth unrevealed
The immense pain..Waiting for time to take the edge off it.
Her soul it burned - yet, no end in sight
those dreams perished away in her sorrows..

Ripping the tapestry of her spirit apart, leaving threadbare
Despair penatrated her soul
her prayers for miracles unanswered..still..
awaiting another arrival of dawn,
she lives her life to die and fly before Heaven's gate

Forever was a lie, she realised
will knowing the truth changes anything now?
and bring back him and those yesterdays? she cries

Yet another day alone, another night so cold,
Nothing is ever the same again...
When healing takes so very long,
leaving such hideous scars.
so people said, move on. why hold onto misery?
Forget his love, come what may..

Yet.. if it wasn't him, his love, her fairytale..
she wouldn't earn her crown of love..this lifetime..

Posted by cherrie on Mar 6, '06 2:05 PM

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

That was me, on 111 dreams.
Here i am, on 888 dreams.

What had i changed? Or what changed me?

i have no fucking idea. It continues...

I teared when i read through that paragraph. The words shot right through to my heart, and i felt as though it was relating to what i had been thinking for so long. Yes, i wished i have one day back, i wished i could turn back time, and i had been colecting days, because i want to return to where i left behind, all i need is just one day, i will be satisfied. But, No...

Finished on the book "For one more day" by Mitch Albom few days back. Yet another inspirational work by him. If you had read "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", or "Tuesdays with Morrie", you are most likely to be familiar with his wonderful works. And you will probably like this book as well. It's a story on the power of mother's love.

It didnt take me long to complete this book. But even after i finished it's last chapter, i felt like restarting it all over again. Simply timeless and powerful this book is, the words are powerful and evoke so much emotions. If u had lost someone in your life, be it a family, friend or just an acquaintance, you might probably find it hard to put the book down once u started on it. Although i had not lost my mum.. yet, this book never fail to touch my sentimental spot. Throughout the reading, i had been remninscing the times i had with my granny, and justin. The long forgotten wonderful memories of the times we spent together seemd to be flooding through my mind with every page i read.

If you have the time, do check out this novel. I hope that this will make you think about people you take for granted in some ways. Unknowningly, we all take our loved ones for granted. Sometimes we never realize how we are careless with our deeds and our words and how our actions can affect them.

"If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it? " - Mitch Albom

A satisfied yet tired owner.
A simple bear making can be so fun!
------------------------------------------------------------

DD asked, "Are you making this for someone?"
Me replied, "No one, for fun~"

"This is MOMO, not SPARCO ok!!"

DD (-_-")

The other night....

Me: DD, i give u a 4 letter word, ok?

DD was (^_^)

DD: f-u-c-k.
Me: nah...
DD: s-u-c-k
Me: haha nope..
DD: b-l-o-w
Me: hehe, wrong...!
DD: c-o-c-k

Me was (@_@)

Me: Knn, ALL wrong! why so dirtyminded!

I wanted to give a K-I-S-S, but in the end, i told him...

Me: sleep ok.
DD: but sleep is a 5 letter word, not 4.
Me: yeah i know but i cant spell, so sleep is a 4 letter word. S-L-E-P

(x_x) Bah!!!!

Sunday is family day, with cookie and many cookie friends.

biggie shades i love.
My new cookie airfreshener. marine smell.
bought in Tokyo so long ago, using it only now.
Ain't it cute?

While everyone's having Monday blues, I'm still thinking of my last Saturdays and Sundays, and planning for my next weekends. How evil. Alrite, tata, time to have my "breakfast" at 4pm. My body clock is in a real mess.

the box.
the stuff and the instructions.

tadah im done!!

Now, fix the ears and body.

Finally, the ribbon.